New This Is Past album
THIS IS PAST
Τρίτη 25 Φεβρουαρίου 2020
Δευτέρα 16 Ιανουαρίου 2017
Initially, something that resembled a snail shell attracted my
attention. I felt that a living creature was hidden inside it, a
creature I wanted to know. When I touched it, it smashed and a large
fragment of it fell in my hands. This fragment I call Uglyland.
As
I was gazing at this fragment, I felt as if I was holding a womb
which contained an embryo which consisted of pieces of an unknown
past (This Is Past) ready to be born (The Unborn). Out of this womb a
green, two-headed creature was born (Twins). It was hideous, immature
and funny. One head detested the other and they were in constant
conflict. Their thoughts were utterly disorderly, chaotic and
instinctive. One head kept battering the other until they both
disintegrated into a million, tiny, green pieces which scattered
everywhere. I barely managed to collect them all. It was as if I was
struggling to collect all the pieces of a blown up broccoli. I felt
as if everything was over when I faced this sight. I can hardly
describe my feelings (No Words). It was an ugly sight; a dead
creature (Twins), in front of a womb (Uglyland) and the mother's body
elsewhere, detached and inaccessible. I gathered my strength and when
I managed to collect all the embryo fragments (Twins) I placed them
on the larger shell fragment out of which they had come (Uglyland).
Then I realised that each fragment consisted of a different thought.
Out of these pieces I constructed a tiny edifice, the same way
children build sand castles. Thus, I created a museum of dead
thoughts (M.O.T. “Museum of thoughts”). A museum whose sole
visitor was me. I wandered in there for a long time trying to
understand this siamese creature's thoughts. This creature which had
hated itself to such an extent that it was led to its premature
death. I struggled to understand the world it had come from. I was
lost however, since the museum I had created absorbed my thoughts
like a sponge and presented them as the creature's. The rooms in the
museum multiplied, as well as the floors and very soon I became one
with it and began to lose myself. Then I decided that I had to go
out, shut the door behind me and never return (Please close the door
behind you).
As
soon as I came out of the maze in which I had been lost, I looked at
the sky and was drawn by it, along with some other people like me who
had escaped with me from the museum. (Ουράνια σώματα -
celestial bodies). I can recall watching all the others flying in the
sky with me and not knowing who I was, not knowing how long it was
that I had been trapped in this state; if I am in the past or have
travelled somewhere in the future. I was simply wondering about all
these and feeling empty of answers. The fear of not knowing where I
was heading forced me to accept the given situation.
Then I started to appreciate the beauty of the ugliness in which I
was lost. Everything resembled a dance in an ugly musical background
with which I identified to such an extent that I actually enjoyed it.
I forgot why it had all started; the fact that I desired to discover
what that shell that I initially saw was; that being which had been
born and had died so soon. I started to enjoy what seemed like a
journey towards my own death. I became one with all those unknown
celestial bodies. My weakness became strength and I identified with
Satan. I suddenly felt brave and my ugliness blossomed like a
strange flower. There was no personal story anymore. I was merely a
fragment of the past, now united with Uglyland which possessed no
beginning or end; invisible and yet visible at the same time, just
like music (Ugly Music). I felt stronger and stronger until I heard a
baby crying in this world. Then I was frightened. This made me sense
the existence of something in Uglyland that threatened my throne. At
that time, just like Herod, I ordered all Uglyland creatures to
search within me for that baby and bring it to me. It was hidden deep
inside my heart and when I faced it I ran far away, feigning for
years that it didn't exist (Zoom).
When this baby grew up it left my heart and hunted after the truth
which had taken the form of a white rabbit inside me. It started
following the rabbit everywhere trying to catch it and talk to it. It
was striving to comprehend me just like I did when I entered the
museum of thoughts. (Alice in Uglyland). The fear that Alice would
destroy Uglyland killed her. One day when she was very close to
catching the rabbit and forcing him to tell the truth, I ordered her
arrest and decapitation. After that, all the creatures that lived
inside me turned against each other because Uglyland felt empty
without Alice's presence. They devoured each other. Uglyland finally
collapsed not due to the truth as I feared, but due to lies. This war
inside me forced me to feel less than a whole world and more like an
empty individual, lost within a fairytale. I felt that the journey
was about to end and the train reach its final destination of
inconvenient truth (The Outsider).
Fallen from my throne in Uglyland, among such different people, I had
landed in thorns. I felt hatred towards my human nature and the curse
of death. At that time I started talking to my mirror a lot and
looking at old family photos. Some times the pictures came alive and
spoke to me but after a while they became still again and I felt
lonely again (Ugly Family). I missed all those creatures that lived
inside me and I inside them. I still had that large shell fragment
and I needed someone to explore it with. Thus, I and “Κανένας”
(Nobody) tried together to discover what that big, magic shell was
and lived inside it before it broke. Our disagreements were such that
we began hating each other to such an extent that “Κανένας”
(Nobody) shattered into a thousand pieces one day (Μισανθρωπία
– Misanthropy). So intense was my hatred that it drowned every sane
thought and the only thing that came out of my mouth was
incomprehensible cries.
I
was then approached by a man, called “Ευαγόρας Κόκκινος”,
who had lost his voice and through some written texts was struggling
to tell me that his condition somehow concerned me. I identified with
his story for some reason. I somehow felt as if I had lost my voice
as well in a way and that I was forced to discover new words to
express my feelings (Γλωσσολαλιά - Glossolalia).
After all these years, I had discovered my self and my voice just for
a moment. I recalled my fears, my past and saw the naked truth
(Αγαπημένε Χάροντα – Beloved Death) and then
plunged into the sea of illusions. The reality around me had altered
and had to be redefined. None of the existing laws applied anymore
(0+0=8). Therefore, out of my own new principles and in a novel
language, I thought that I could decipher the secret of the shell.
(1+1+1+1+0=TIP). I described the world I saw in such a way that
people around me could not even see it. I floated among them,
invisible, like a ghost (Nyuidj).
Lost in my own lies once more, I started rummaging through my past. I
held it in my hands like Theseus's ball of thread in order to find
the way out of the labyrinth I had created.It was there that I would
meet the white rabbit who would whisper the truth to me and would
destroy everything once more, bringing me back to point zero. (Follow
the rabbit).
Thus, after a long time I arrived at a crossroads (Y) after wondering
like a dead body tied on a horse (Dead Rider). There, at the
crossroads an old man was waiting for me. He untied me and got me off
the horse. He explained that I had take a momentous decision. I would
have to decide whether I would follow the easy or the arduous path.
The easy path of inactivity lead to disaster whereas the difficult
one to virtue. When I announced to him that I would choose the
difficult path he disappeared. Then I heard a snake-like voice and I
realized that I had already taken my first step in the path
(AAZZAAZZAAA). Then I met a few more people following the same path.
The group-pack was called AAZZAAZZORG. They showed me a way to record
the snake-like voice which was talking to me (Magicum Alphabetum) as
I was walking along the path and a way to confront the enemies I
would meet (PERSONAE
NON GRATAE).
My first enemy was Incompositus and 10 more sprang out of his chaos.
My purpose was to eliminate them one by one. With the death of each
enemy I climbed one step on the ladder which led to the precious
stone (VISITA
INTERIORA TERRAE RECTIFICANDO INVENIES OCCULTUM LAPIDEM)
that would aid me in transforming darkness to light. The power that
forced me to confront those enemies (Θεόκλητος Όφις) was
stronger than my fears. Thus, those 11 steps (Per aspera ad astra)
transformed the “Personae non gratae - Morituri” into 11 allies
(Illuminati). They assisted me in decoding the messages of the
snake-like voice and illuminated my way in the path so that I would
know what to avoid or not. Every step led me to the crossroads. Every
step was a choice.
However, with the aid of the 11
allies' advice I now selected the right path and was rewarded with
one page from the sacred books every time (De Occulta Philosophia).
In this way, I collected inside me all the elements (AAAAAAA) that I
needed in order to build a temple where the “Reformer” would
reside. All the elements that were not required in this process were
left out of the temple in order to serve as guards who would prevent
the uninitiated from entering.
Σάββατο 23 Νοεμβρίου 2013
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